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Where We Left Off:
MamaCat Marsh was caught carrying a dead body and leaving it for Oliver and Gus to find.
No Country for Gnome Men:
In 2024, our lead garden gnome, Gnomez Addams, was assaulted and suffered damages. Gnomez has faced many perpetrators in his life here at the Winchester-Nabu estate. He’s been in a lot of fights, especially with squirrels. The culprit who dealt this most damaging blow was Neil Greysuch, known A-hole and a Justice on the Supreme Court of Squirrels.
After watching specific videos by Anthony (YouTube.com/@AceofClay) where he takes thrift store tchotchkes and applies Sculpey to make them into something different, I thought I could tackle a “simple” repair job for Gnomez’s hat. I’ve never successfully baked Sculpey before. I tried making something many years ago and remember burning it in the toaster oven.
“We really need him back on the job,” Oliver scolded me. “We’ve a pregnant red and a pregnant grey squirrel out there in Gnome Grove. The creatures are getting hormonal.”
I agreed. “Yeah, hormones have important functions in a body, but they can alter temperment to an extreme.”
The Polymer Clay Repair & Paint Job
The Sculpey Premo arrived I kept watching the video tutorials again and again, stalling the inevitable repair. At the beginning of April, I finally unwrapped the clay and got to work. It was harder to condition than I expected but as soon as my hands gave the clay some warmth, it was easy to work with. The entire repair has been documented on video.
All of us were so pleased that the hat repair was a success! The Butler thought I should keep the purple color, but I wanted to try painting it back to the original red to push myself a bit more in this whole statuette repair process. Not to mention, when I cleaned Gnomez before doing this, I was as thorough as possible and more of his coloring came off. He honestly required a full paint treatment, but I wasn’t confident to tackle his skin and hair. I did the rest. Again, I was shocked that all of it came out so well! Even the bluebird looked better than it had originally, because it never had the rosy breast of our eastern bluebirds and I managed to make it more accurate.
Varnish Time?
I placed Gnomez in a perfectly sized box and had a can of matte spray varnish. I planned to use this box as a spray booth. I taped the flaps with blue painter’s tape. *Queue suspenseful, foreboding music* I walked out the back door and wasn’t holding the box by the bottom. I had the heavy spray can in my left hand while my right hand gripped one of the box’s taped flaps.
You can see where this is going.
The painter’s tape gave way. Gnomez rolled out of the box. He fell onto the stone path. His left boot broke. The only “good” news was that it seemed to be large pieces with breaks that fit back together.
That didn’t stop me from crying.
I know our local hardware stores don’t have “green stuff” because I’ve looked for it before. I had to go to Amazon. This was another product I had never used before. I’ve seen Bill Making Stuff and Boylei Hobby Time use it to fill in existing minis and scratch builds to sculpt the shapes they wanted. They made it look easy.
The Army Painter packaging did not include work time. I put on gloves as one should and began trying to get the hard yellow side to blend with the blue side to make the green stuff. By the time the epoxy was swirled yellow and blue, it was sticky. It stuck to my gloves and kept pulling at them. Eventually, one glove tore completely. I ditched the gloves and used my bare hands. This naturally made my hands gross and sticky.
When the product was finally green, I began the process of putting Gnomez’s boot back together with Loctite super glue in the seams first then overlaid the green stuff. This sucked. It was not good at all. I tried my best using the clay shaping tools, but the green stuff stuck to those instead of the gnome.
Each time I got a little bit of progress, something else cracked. I kept trying to put broken pieces to the side before the green stuff hardened completely. I broke off more yellow and blue putty. Worked it in my progressively worse hands. Trying to apply it on fresh cracks. *Snap snap snap*
Pieces just kept breaking off as I descended into madness. Tears. A little loopy from the super glue (my respirator was in the garage for another project). I tried switching to E6000. Nothing was working.
I texted The Butler about the disaster on my desk while Gus and Ollie napped. He suggested offering Gnomez a retirement package and bringing on a new hire.
Inside my head: “YOU CAN’T JUST REPLACE A GNOME!”
I was going to concede—at least for that day. I super glued the left boot together, but the seams didn’t line up well. I held it for a minute or two then wrapped the boots in painter’s tape. Somewhere in this process, the super glue adhered to my silicone mat. I didn’t know things could take another bad turn, but they sure did! I tried to pull the mat off Gnomez and no one came out unscathed. The mat was destroyed. Gnomez had silicone rubber stuck to him. I had super glue on every finger and spots of my palms.
I taught some Yoga. Took Gus out for his adventures. Eventually I sat back the disaster of my work space and threw out some of the mess. I just learned how to say this in French. J’ai jeté ces trucs de mon bureau. What a coincidence.
Thankfully, The Cook and The Grumpy Old Man took over the arduous chore of giving Oliver his daily glucose medicine. I didn’t think it was going to affect me, but it did. After every chase around the house, every day having him make primal guttural growls and hisses at me, I would end up shaking for a long time.
That change allowed me to focus on repair projects like Gnomez, building a new door for Gnome Grove, and refinishing a planter and old ashtray stand that can be upcycled into something else. My To Do List has been long. And I haven’t even mentioned the massive amount of repairs to my car that are needed (the estimate was $2,300). The Grumpy Old Man is going to tackle the highest priority car repairs in between other things. The Butler took care of the mountain of bills for the items.
Yet, this gnome was still making me cry.
Gus and I were outside feeding critters. He was unusually well-behaved observing Moira MunkTaggert eating snacks. He sat down in a shady spot and tried to make sense of my emotions.
“Gnomez isn’t just a gnome,” he said. “He was our first gnome. You and I hadn’t been taking adventures that long, maybe a year, before he joined us.”
“I know,” I said.
“Before our adventures and crime solving, you didn’t even go outside unless you had to. Face it, you were a stereotypical witch who was too afraid of the world out there,” he said.
“When did you get philosophical? I would have expected that from Oliver after a catnip dose.”
“I can be deep. No one ever gives me enough credit,” Gus said.
Search for Clay Materials
With my head more clear from the fresh air and time on other things, I brainstormed what could be done to fix Gnomez. I need air dry clay, but foam clay looks too unruly. I watched many crafters use the Apoxie Sculpt brand of epoxy sculpt clay. I find the Apoxie Sculpt brand to be expensive. Another artist, Darynn, explained that she prefers a different brand called Magic Sculpt, but she warns that is hard to find. I used her link to Amazon and it was listed as unavailable. My search continued and I found a brand called Smalltongue, but is also in China. TARIFFS AND DELAYS. I finally landed on a US brand Fix It Sculpt and on their Amazon page, they give the details and comparisons of work time. However, it also the same price as Apoxie brand (Aves).
Case Findings:
I agree with The Butler that perhaps it is time for Gnomez Addams to move out of Gnome Grove, but I’m not ready to retire him. I think there’s still some potential to find the right product and sculpt new boots for him. This would allow him to reside on the balcony or in the mini greenhouse.
The mystery here is finding what will work and do the job. If you have any suggestions, feel free to send a message (amberlovescomics at gmail dot com) or comment here.
Case Status: Open