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Where We Left Off:

The cat detectives got up close to the Raccoon House and something inside kept trying to convince Gus to enter.

***Trigger Warning: There is one image of a dead animal behind the spoiler box.***

The Pickpocket:

In the last case file, I showed a photo of one of the local raccoons with her babies. The image was captured at 11:38 PM one night. If you’ve been following our cases, you may already have seen me mention that we live on a busy road that drivers treat like a highway rather than the residential, hilly, winding road that it is. I get it. It’s fun to drive fast. However, I also know that whipping around the slight bend going south down the hill will cause speedy drivers to go over the barely existing shoulder next to the woods and front yards. That’s why many vehicles hit the street signs and, most annoyingly, our wall.

On the 19th of July, 2025, both Ollie and Gus were interested in exploring beyond the property lines. That’s when we did a cursory investigation of the Raccoon House (see previous case). There were no dead animals in the road then. There was, and still is, a lot of garbage littering the edge of the woods.

During the adventure which ended in our external search of the Raccoon House, Gus and Ollie spotted a black glove at the end of our driveway. I picked it up and placed it on the wall in case it belonged to the nice Garbage Man who picks up our bins every week. There was another theory. The glove could have belonged to the Grumpy Old Man who had been in that area weeding. Gus checked with him first. He said it wasn’t his. Ollie checked with the Butler and it wasn’t his either.

On the 21st, I was driving home and saw that there was something about the size of a cat dead on the side of the road. It was on that side I described where people tend to go far too fast. Not only could a deer jump out at any given moment, but that goes for any of the wildlife and cryptids here: bears, raccoons, foxes, coyotes, Jersey devil-deer, or free-roaming cats.

During our morning patrol, I was pushing Oliver towards Gnome Grove. Gus was sniffing around the make-shift bird feeder at Oliver’s patio not far from us. I stopped when I suddenly spotted Savile, the stray tuxedo cat! He was right in front of a trail camera. Ollie was not pleased.

“Hey! What are you doing here?” Ollie shouted at Savile.

Gus looked up. I was shocked that he stayed where he was waiting for a chipmunk rather than going in pursuit of Savile. The tuxedo cat stared at us for a minute before he turned and ran off towards the border of the road. There are thick bushes and some trees that make up that border. After that, it’s a few inches of paved shoulder before the white line that creates the car lane.

None of us heard anything that sounded like a vehicle impact coming from that direction. We heard plenty of pine cones falling from trees which sometimes land on metal and make loud CLUNK sounds. I had left the house for a long portion of the day. Then I saw something in the road on that drive home, my first thought was that it was Savile. I was worried.

Gus greeted me immediately as I entered. Goodness, I was out of the house without him. He required much attention and skritches and food.

“Are we going out again? Nevermind. That’s not a question. I want to go out again,” he said.

“Gus, I appreciate that you want to out, but I have been driving for two hours to get home,” I explained. “I’ve been in the car nearly four hours today. I want to get food—I don’t even care if it’s cold—and go upstairs to rest.” It’s unfortunate that the delicious vegan nachos The Cook made were no longer crispy and hot from the oven. At least I grabbed a bite when they were to taste them. I microwaved them into a soggy lump. I mustered a bit of energy and left through the kitchen to walk alone down the road to find out who or what I saw.

I snapped a photo and returned home. “It’s not the tuxedo or any of the cats. It’s a raccoon and it looks like it’s been there over a day. I don’t know how I missed it.” Probably because when The Butler drove us the previous day, I rarely looked up.

Gus, Oliver, and I went upstairs for a briefing while I ate my soggy nachos. Here’s where it gets a little graphic and gross.

The Investigation:

“What do you fellas think? Can we ID the victim?” I said to the cats on the bed. I think Gus was more interested in the blue chip nachos.

“It’s a shame. The raccoons don’t bother anyone,” Oliver said.

Gus inched closer to the bowl in my hands. “The best way to look at it as that the raccoon is providing food for other beasts. I, personally, would not want to eat one.”

“And see if the black glove it connected!” I reminded the cats.

The sun began to set. I noticed the darkness creep through the room. It had been a difficult day. I asked the cat detectives if they could continue the investigation without me. Both of them disappeared from the bed and I hoped they wouldn’t go to The Cook and beg her for treats. Luckily, they went through their new door on the second floor. From there, they could talk to the birds, squirrels, and any beasts passing through.

“She didn’t bring the body back,” Oliver said to Gus on the upper balcony. “We only saw one photo. Can we get to the backyard somehow?”

Gus walked through railing to the few inches of space unobstructed. “I jumped down once, but that was in my youth. I don’t know how I feel about trying that nowadays.”

Oliver stuck his head through the railing spindles. “You’re capable of morphing into a giant battlecat.”

“That’s only in an emergency like if the human is in peril. I’m not a shape-shifter like the volkolaks.” Gus looked out into the night. “Boy, how great would that be if I could do that any time I wanted?”

Ollie watched as the bats came out of their houses and snatched up bugs as they flew in large circles over the area. His usual go-to informants, the Blue Jay Gang, weren’t around. He was forced to try something else—an owl.

Victimology:

The next morning, we reconvened after our group meditation practice. Oliver had some important new information on this case. 

“An owl told me what she knew about the victim in the road.” Oliver then sat straight up and raised one paw signaling he expected a treat for this new information. Gus wouldn’t allow himself to be treatless. Once treats were doled out, we were able to continue.

Species: raccoon (Procyon lotor)

Name/Street Name: Abrahands

Abilities: prestidigitation, stealth, excellent climbing

Approximate Age: adult

Date of Death: 21-July-2025

Location discovered: southbound side of the road, north of the Winchester-Nabu residence

Date and time of discovery: 21-July-2025 around 6:50 PM

Evidence: The black glove flew out of the car window as it sped around the curve.

Cause of Death: 

Due to the location and condition of the body, it’s most probable that COD was a vehicular accident where the victim was hit and run over. There is no information on the driver or type of vehicle. The Mechanism of Death was determined to be Crush Impact Trauma.

Case Findings:

A raccoon’s body was discovered on the side of the road. An investigation was launched as soon as possible. Oliver reached out to an owl at night. The cats were given crucial information about the victim’s identity. The raccoon’s name was Abrahands. He was a known burglar with exceptional pickpocketing skills. His reputation was that of a Robin Hood type, someone who stole in order to provide resources for himself, other raccoons, and even certain small critters of other species.

Case Status: Closed