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Winchester-Nabu Detective Agency Year Six: Case File No. 49-309


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Where We Left Off:

Gus discovered evidence of The Mantis, a cryptid first (and so far only) found around the Musconetcong River.

They Might Be Giants:

What comes to mind when you see the color blue? I’ll give more context. Gus and I were happily beginning our outside patrol and bird feeding activities when he stopped in front of my parked car. I went to see what he was sniffing. I thought it was probably the tire because the car had been on the road the previous day and might have smelled of the town nearby rather than our small parking area. I’ve noticed that Gus will always smell a parked car he knows when given the chance. That was not the case.

Gus let me see what he discovered. It was a large green plastic bowl with shiny blue residue in it. Odd, yes? The wind had been bad for months so I was used to finding things blown from one yard to the next. I had never seen the green bowl before and the Grumpy Old Man hadn’t mentioned (yelled) about missing one. Gus and I deduced that the bowl was most likely from the yard next door.

collage of Gus finding suspicious green bowl

I moved the bowl to the edge of the driveway thinking it was easier to see there and if it was from next door, someone would retrieve it. Later, I found the bowl still in our parking area, but this time, it was behind the elder humans’ car. As I said, the wind was relentless. Logic led us to believe the wind had moved it again.

Now, about the color blue—what did you think of when reading the word? I thought of Smurfs. It’s obnoxious, but that’s where my mind went. I don’t know if it was because I was outside where Smurfs mostly were in the cartoon; or if it was because I’ve been wanting to put our gnomes and fairies back in Gnome Grove now that winter is over.

endless Smurfs holding hands walking

I didn’t think of anything poetic like the gorgeous blue sky on a clear day. I didn’t think of Vulcan blood or horseshoe crab blood. My second thought was blue ice cream. I don’t remember if that was called something with the word Smurf in the name, but I had a clear image of blue ice cream with colorful chips in it. I guess I should clarify here that one of my more fun, part-time jobs as an adult was working in a quaint town at a shop that sold classic toys, candy, and ice cream.

Gus and I looked at the bowl, but since we didn’t want to get caught examining a neighbor’s object on security cameras, I didn’t get enough time to figure out what the dried goop could be. Because I was thinking about Smurfs, I had so many questions about them.

garden gnome

Are Smurfs a kind of gnome? They’re very small. I always thought Smurfs were only several inches tall. Our garden gnomes are just shy of being twelve inches tall (with their caps). Are they even real? Is New Jersey a native habitat for them? Why was there only one female Smurf?

After our adventure, I showed Oliver the photograph to see what he thought of the blue stuff.

Ollie let out an exasperated exhale. “We do not have Smurfs here, you ludicrous human!”

He seemed so sure. “All right then, what do you think the blue stuff was?”

“Since you failed to bring a sample in for testing, I can’t be sure. However,” Oliver lifted his chin and looked up, “do you recall the times when our blue fairy had morning sickness?”

“Yes, I do. But Eugenia’s vomit wasn’t blue.”

“Hers wasn’t, but perhaps someone else’s is,” Oliver posited.

I had to keep the brainstorming going. “Or…it’s not vomit at all. Does something inside cars look like this? I saw someone working on one of the cars.”

“Ask the Grumpy Old Man or my Butler. They would know,” Ollie said.

The only thing the Butler could think of was washer fluid. The shade of blue didn’t seem to match though and the viscosity had to be different. Dried Windex-type fluid wouldn’t look like this.

red cardinal on the ground

Wouldn’t you know it, one of our CIs came through with information that was shocking! A chatty cardinal said the blue stuff wasn’t about something tiny. It’s about something BIG! I thought the Jersey Demons were most likely the largest creatures out here, but apparently, not so. The answer was a GIANT!

“A giant? We don’t have those here,” I said to the cats.

“It makes sense,” Ollie said. “The cardinal said the residue in the bowl was toothpaste specifically used by giants.”

“How big are we talkin’?” Gus asked.

“Not as frightening as movies and fairy tales,” Ollie explained. “Do you remember that human, Andre the Giant?”

“But of course,” Gus said. “He died long before we were born, but he’s an icon.”

Andre the Giant hold his hand up to much shorter sportscaster.

Ollie continued, “These giants are about twenty-five percent larger than that guy. They’d be able to travel with a circus in the olden days.”

This was astonishing information. We’ve been investigating and researching for years and giants have never come up. Then like a switch being flipped, I remembered that one of the sports teams here is called the Giants. I bet that’s where they got their name! This land must have had a lot more gigantic humans.

“Do we know if their DNA is human?” I asked the detectives.

Oliver said, “As far as we know, it is. They’re just enormous people. There aren’t many left in the world. Some are full-bodied and others are tall and thin. Their genes adapted over time.”

Interesting. You’d think this would be well-known—and exploited. Anyone or anything that fits into the “freaks” category has to learn how to hide.

Case Findings:

This was a shocking case. We had no idea giants were around us. They once roamed freely all over the globe. We haven’t noticed any footprints, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t out there. The bowl with blue residue ended up being a giant’s toiletry item. The person may have found the bowl next door or elsewhere in the neighborhood and decided to borrow it when they needed to rinse and brush their teeth. Everyone wants fresh breath! Now I wonder, was the giant after the neighbors’ chickens too?

Case Status: Closed

orange and white tabby Oliver lying on the bed awake and alert

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