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Winchester-Nabu Detective Agency Year Six: Case File No. 43-303

cute poo illustration against wood planks; The Mad Pooper; The Inside Edition

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Where We Left Off:

We took a good look at the cardinals of the backyard in order to create a dossier on the mating pairs.

Mad Pooper:

For a long time, I’ve been keeping records on feces. This includes photos of all kinds of wildlife and cryptid patties outside. Unfortunately, due to his IBD, I also keep notes on Gus’ unusual bowel movements. Sometimes he’ll have a bout where there’s a little bit of blood clearly visible for a couple days. The vets have not been concerned about it. There are also moments when Gus decides he will poop next to the litter box. From all the Jackson Galaxy episodes I’ve watched, there are a few steps to take when this happens:

  • see a vet to see if anything is wrong with the cat’s health (done)
  • did you change the litter or the box? (no)
  • look for patterns like another cat bothering or causing fear in the Mad Pooper cat (done)

small journal of poop accident notes with dates

I know the health records and have Gus on a special prescription diet. The boxes and litter have been the same for years. We have three around the house and one of them is an extra large bin 24-inches long (a storage bin actually). Outside cats do come around and upset Oliver and Gus to the point where they fight with each other. When strays come around, it’s a definite trigger for Oliver and Gus to switch behaviors, but there’s no link or pattern to the pooping outside the box.

The Suspects

I will clarify, these aren’t dried dingleberries that get stuck and are discovered somewhere else in the house. This is obvious pooping next to the box which I know because I’ve seen Gus do it. I let him finish so he doesn’t feel punished. It had always been on the plastic mat in front of the extra long litter box which is a good place as far as accidents are concerned; it’s easy to clean and it’s not in a spot where anyone walks frequently. That is, until recently.

The Evidence

cat poop on top of a small footstool's corner inches away from the litterbox
The Downstairs Accident

In mid-February, The Cook discovered something she found funny (lucky for the cats). There was a turd on the corner of a small wooden footstool which is located only a few inches from the downstairs litter box. It wasn’t the same as the upstairs accidents, but my gut still tells me this was a Gus dropping. Oliver has never excreted outside the boxes. Sometimes it’s plopped on the inside of the box walls, but Ollie is a puker. He has accidents inside the cat carrier and at the vet’s office. Those are high-anxiety locations and his demon takes over. Those are enough reasons for me to have more certainty that Gus is the inside Mad Pooper. We have a lot of outside Mad Poopers, including humans!

Case Findings:

We don’t often investigate Internal Affairs issues, but they do happen from time to time. In this case, the evidence location, shape of sample, and size of sample confirmed it was either Oliver or Gus. Since Oliver had never had a poop accident that couldn’t be explained, the culprit has to be Gus.

Case Status: Closed

collage of mystery poo found in the yard
Outside Mystery Poop

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