AMBER LOVE 27-SEP-2021 This work is supported by the generous backers who adore my cat stories at Patreon.com/amberunmasked and they also get first access to what’s happening with my books and podcast.
Where We Left Off:
It felt like we were under a rodent attack. An infestation. A plague! Gus worked damn hard trying to eliminate them.
The Italian Connection:
We took a different route for this week’s entry into the casebook at the Winchester-Nabu Detective Agency. It seemed like a good time to get to now a newcomer to our league of heroic cats, Cara. Since interviews are part of our CV usually in the form of podcasts, we had to make a little adjustment and go with a text version so Oliver could interview our new friend Cara.
Oliver: Cara, it’s wonderful that you’ve joined our league of heroic cats looking to guide the humans towards a better world. Thank you for giving your time so that we may get to know you better. To begin, do you know where your name came from or where you were before you joined Simon Squishypaws in his household?
Cara: Thank you for taking the time to speak with me, Oliver. Yes, Cara means, “my dear” in Italian. I had previously lived with Erica’s Nonna. Erica is one of the humans that I live with now. Prior to that, I don’t have much memory of where I was. It was like a dream where I woke up, and this older woman was speaking a foreign language. But now I am quite bilingual. Erica will sometimes speak to me in Italian, and that makes me smile.
O: Ah, yes. Our biographer confuses Spanish and French all the time and we can’t understand her. C’est la vie. We know that Simon is an expert in inorganic tracking with such things as shoe prints and network breech tracking, and for that, we’ve used his freelancing services. What special skills do you bring to the table?
C: I have an EXCELLENT pounce. Yes, I’m small, but as I have heard before, “Dynamite comes in small packages.” Because I’m so small, I’m able to sneak into places other cats may not fit. And once there, I can spring like a trap, catching prey or suspects unaware.
O: Please describe your favorite toy or game.
C: Well, I think we all have an affinity for the red dot. I certainly do. It’s a guilty pleasure. But I also enjoy the toy that is filled with treats. You have to knock it around a bit like a speedbag, but when you hit it at just the right angle, you get your reward.
O: Do you consider yourself a “tree-dweller” or a “bush-dweller” (see Jackson Galaxy video)?
C: I’m more of a bush-dweller. When first arriving here, I tried my hand at getting up on the dining table, but after it was covered in aluminum foil, the urge faded. I like laying in my box the larger human, A.J., put together for me. And that light brown packing paper makes a great sound under your paws when you’re stretching out and relaxing.
O: What’s your relationship like with your new partner (or do you call Simon brother)?
C: I call Simon that THING! He’s ENORMOUS! He won’t read this so I can tell you off the record, but he’s TERRIFYING! He’s twice my size and who knows how much heavier. Sure, I have claws, but he has a whole mouth FULL of teeth! He’s tried to talk to me on occasion, and I’ll admit, I was aggressive, but I just can’t get over how BIG he is. The humans want us to be friends, but they said they’d settle for us just not openly fighting. For now, we just avoid each other. He stays upstairs. I stay downstairs.
O: Hmmm… yes. Gus and I have a similar arrangement. Who is the most famous personality you’ve met (either in person or online)?
C: I’m not online much. Off the record, I’m 14, and I never really got into the internet. I also only have three little teeth in the front, so taking big, smiling selfies isn’t my thing either. Erica’s Nonna didn’t do much online stuff, so it’s not something I’ve really gotten into. Erica thinks she’s famous, so I guess her?
O: You’re beautiful, darling. Take more selfies. Now, name four things to bring to a deserted island or secret lair.
C: Hmm… A solar-powered red light distributor. Erica and A.J. keep saying the batteries drain quickly on it, but I’d like to keep up my cardio. Definitely my catnip eggplant, though it’s more fun when there’s someone there to make it move. That treat toy so I can keep up my boxing skills — and speaking of boxes, a nice box to sleep in.
O: Are you on Instagram?
C: I’m not, but I’m told that there are a few photos of me on one of Erica’s IG profiles (EricaSchultz42 or EricaSchultzWrites)
O: If you could choose anyone living or dead, who would you like to spend a day with?
C: I’d love to spend a day with one of the cats from Ancient Egypt. They must’ve lived the life. Maybe hanging out with Cleopatra’s favorite cat would be nice.
O: What are your favorite charitable causes?
C: Any local animal shelter is a cause close to my heart. Before living with Erica’s Nonna, I was at an animal shelter for a little bit. They were very kind, and I think they do a lot of great work.
O: Finally, do you have any advice on helping humans achieve their best?
C: Naps. I don’t think humans take enough naps. They’re VERY important for your mental health.
Case Findings:
We look forward to seeing what jobs could use the wisdom of such an experienced feline as Cara. You should buy her human’s comics too.
Case Status: Closed
Pictured above: Erica Schultz and Simon
Links:
- Twitter @ericaschultz42
- Erica’s Website
- @deadly_bouquet